My life is fucking over

[Dhar_2]

Re: My life is fucking over

dunno, did you check?

[feather]

Re: My life is fucking over

I met her in the middle of the night. We were texting and then talking on the phone and eventually met up. And talked for a bit on the street.

Nothing is resolved and I don't expect it to, I mean, I guess it's a miracle that she would want to talk to me.

It just feels like there is a huge misperception of where we are or what we are. And I know I keep owning up to being wrong and I'm not doing this to be apologetic or get sympathy, but I think we've both lost sight of who we were/are and what we were suppose to be to each other.

It's my fault for losing sight. Living alone in Sydney and not having a life except work and numbing myself to everything else so I can keep going like a drone. I really think I lost a lot of perspective living alone and living alone in my head. Lost sight of our promise, lost sight of my compass, lost sight of the fact that this was the one connection, and I tried to fill all that with whatever.

And no matter what kinda connection we started with, I told her the connection has changed and twisted. It used to bring out the best in us and now it brings out the worst. And yet I just don't know if I can lose it, I don't know if the worst is worth the best but nobody else has ever brought out the best in me.

I think I/we have always been so adamant about us working things out because it just never felt like we ever, ever, had the right time or the ideal circumstances, perhaps we never will. But seriously shit just keeps happening to us.

Anyway long story short, there is no resolution but at least we spoke and I suggested we give this some time, and if she wants to see me in Nov when she visits again for a friend's wedding, we can see how we feel when we see each other, and if there is any hope of moving forward from this.

Sigh.

[ddr]

Re: My life is fucking over

damn feather, sorry to hear you are going through all of this.. just read through the whole thread and i have to concur with the lot on this forum.. some really good advice here.

i know from experience that when you feel inadequade with respect to someone else... it is VERY easy to blame yourself for whatever is going wrong in a relationship... you just have to take a step back... get hammered one night, take a few days to recoop from the hangover and once ur feeling well and back to mind, look at it from a neutral perspective.

take a break, be happy you are single for the time being and evaluate yourself so you can make whatever relationship comes next (with her or not) better.

good luck to you mate!!

[Dhar_2]

Re: My life is fucking over

glad you at least had a chance to talk before she left and that you will have another chance to talk once some water has passed under the bridge!

keep your chin and think about you! get pro-active

you say you are living like a drone, shutting things out! what do you want to do?

go to the gym

go to the sasha gig

get out meet people

feel good about yourself.

your only capable of giving to others when you can give to yourself.

[dusk]

Re: My life is fucking over

Hey feather.. sorry to hear about your situation, just read the entire thread.. not quite sure what your first post read, but hang in there buddy... strangely enough it does get better... over time you will be a stronger person... first things first... take care of number 1 - which is you and the rest will eventually fall into place.

On a side note - I think you said that you spent waaay too much time working and not enough into your relationship, remember definitely not to make the same mistake again, some women need more TLC then others ;-)

[Micko]

Re: My life is fucking over

Hang in there fella. While things may be tough at the moment, time can be a great healer. Shit does change

A lot of sound advice here

Look after yourself - be a friend to yourself, and try to have some fun if you can

Of course, listen to some ambience. I find it always does the trick

[Yao]

Re: My life is fucking over

be a friend to yourself

^^exactly that.