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read these in Maxim while on an airplane... 
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with spectacular breasts and offers her $100 to let him bite them.
"Are you nuts?"
"What about for $1,000?" he asks.
"Listen, you sick pig," she says. "I'm not that kind of woman."
"You wouldn't even do it for $10,000?" the man asks hopefully.
"You'll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts?" she asks. "Ok, let's go over to that dark alley."
Once there she takes off her blouse, and the guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, and fondling them.
"Hey, are you going to bite them or what?" she huffs.
"Nah," he shrugs. "Too expensive."
A first-grade class comes in from recess, and the teacher asks a little girl what she did outside.
"I played in the sandbox," she says.
"That's good," replies the teacher. "Go to the blackboard, and if you can write sand correctly, I'll give you a cookie."
The girl gets her treat, and the teacher asks a boy wearing a turban what he did during recess.
"I tried to play in the sandbox, but everyone threw rocks at me," he says.
"That's blatant racial discrimination!" says the teacher. "And if you can write blatant racial discrimination on the board, you'll get a cookie."
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with spectacular breasts and offers her $100 to let him bite them.
"Are you nuts?"
"What about for $1,000?" he asks.
"Listen, you sick pig," she says. "I'm not that kind of woman."
"You wouldn't even do it for $10,000?" the man asks hopefully.
"You'll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts?" she asks. "Ok, let's go over to that dark alley."
Once there she takes off her blouse, and the guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, and fondling them.
"Hey, are you going to bite them or what?" she huffs.
"Nah," he shrugs. "Too expensive."
A first-grade class comes in from recess, and the teacher asks a little girl what she did outside.
"I played in the sandbox," she says.
"That's good," replies the teacher. "Go to the blackboard, and if you can write sand correctly, I'll give you a cookie."
The girl gets her treat, and the teacher asks a boy wearing a turban what he did during recess.
"I tried to play in the sandbox, but everyone threw rocks at me," he says.
"That's blatant racial discrimination!" says the teacher. "And if you can write blatant racial discrimination on the board, you'll get a cookie."
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