Quick joke to get things going

[NastyD]

A woman got married to a sailer and everything was good, the loving was wonderful and she felt fulfilled with life. Eventually he had to go to sea, and she was talking to a friend who was also married to a sailer. "So, have you tried it the other way yet", the friend asked. "The other way?" the woman said. "I didn't know there was another way. I've always been happy with the way we've been doing it so far". "Oh yes", her friend said. "There's another way alright. When your husband gets home ask him to do it".
So, the woman's husband came home from overseas and things started to get amorous and before long she suggested that they try it the other way. "What", he said. "And having fucking kids running all round the house! No thanks!".

Corny I know - sorry

[tiddles]

yeah, i've heard that one, but it was italians instead of sailors

10 Tips for Effective Missionary Dating

1. If he tells your that you are hot...
   Tell him God made you hot.
   
2. If he wants to hold your hand...
   Give him a Bible.
   
3. If he tries to get closer...
   Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.
   
4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
   Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did no owe!
   
5. If he reaches his arm around you...
   Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
   
6. If he tries to kiss you...
   Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
   
7. If he asks to come inside...
   Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.
   
8. If he tells you he loves you...
   Tell him that Jesus loves him.
   
9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
   Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."
   
10. After you dump him...
    Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

i know