What do you call a fly with no wings?

[Bululu]

How do you call a Portugesse who jerks off facing the sea ???/




















Manuel Da Costa

[Kinetic]

How do you call a Portugesse who jerks off facing the sea ???/

I don?t think they?ll get that...

BUT I DO!

uh...it?s not so funny...




















Manuel Da Costa

[Paul Louth]

How do you stop a baby falling down a man-hole?



















Stick a Javelin through it's head

[Kamal]

What do you call an intelligent blonde ?









A golden retriever
---------------------------------------------------------

Throw a blond and a brunnette off of a building, who hits the ground first and why ?



The Brunnette hits the ground first













The blonde's asking for directions
---------------------------------------------------------


Why does a blonde have a Y shaped coffin ?












Drop her on her back and she spreads

[Steve Graham]

^^^^ lol

[GregWhelan]

Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by 90% - this new food is called 'wedding cake'.

[toasty]

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

[toasty]

What would Abraham Lincoln be doing if he were alive today?















Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

[asdf_admin]

the teacher say to class everyone think of a 10 letter word.
johnny say masterbait the teacher says thats a mouth full .
Johnny says no your thinking of blowjob :wink:

[asdf_admin]

A WHITE GUY ,A MEXICAN GUY ,AND A BLACK GUY GO TO HELL THERE PUNISHMENT IS THAT THE DEVIL IS GOIN TO GIVE THEM A HAND JOB THE WHITE GUY GOES FIRST AND IN 5 MINUTES HE MELTS THE MEXICAN IS NEXT AND HE MELTS IN 10 MINUTES THE BLACK GUY GOES NEXT AND THE DEVIL GIVES HIM A HAND JOB FOR 1 HOUR THEN THE DEVIL ASK "WHY DONT U MELT" AND THE BLACK GUY ANSWERS " HAVENT U HEARD CHOCOLATE MELTS IN UR MOUTH NOT IN UR HANDS"

[asdf_admin]

A man was walking on the beach when he got the urge for a cigarette, but he had no matches. He saw another man coming toward him carrying a gym bag, so he asked him for a light. The second man opened the gym bag and took out a huge cigarette lighter. "Where did you get that big lighter?" asked the first man. "There's a genie down the beach granting wishes," the second man answered. So the first man walked along the beach and sure enough, there was a genie. "Do you grant wishes?" the man asked, and the genie answered "Yes, but only one wish to a customer." "I want a million bucks," the man asked. The genie waved his hand, and suddenly the sky was full of ducks flying in from all directions. "Hey," the man said, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." "Sorry, one wish to a customer," the genie answered. Angry, the man went back up the beach until he ran into the man with the gym bag. "That's some fucked-up genie," he said. "I asked for a million bucks, and all I got was a million ducks."
"You're telling me?" the other man answered. "Do you really think I wanted a two-foot Bic?"

[asdf_admin]

a nun went to a doctor because she thought she had crabs

she said, "doctor i think i have crabs but i don't understand how i got them because i have never had sex before!"

so the doctor said, " well lets take a look"

so the nun pulled down her pants and then pulled down her underwear

and fruit flys come flying out of her vagina

the doctor said, " sister you don't have crabs, those are fruit flys, your cherry is rotten!"

[asdf_admin]

A doctor is making a routine call to one of his
elderly patients. He asks, ''And how are you doing
today, Mr. Johnson?''

Mr. Johnson replies, ''I feel just fine, doc. But you
know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get
up to pee, the bathroom light goes on for me
automatically when I open the door!''

The doctor is worried that the old guy is getting
senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife
answers.

The doctor tells her, ''Mrs. Johnson, I'm a little
concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when
he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom
door, the light somehow goes on...''

Mrs. Johnson yells, ''STEVEN! Daddy's peeing in the
refrigerator again!''

[chato]

now those just are the sheeeet!

[asdf_admin]

a little girl is walkin down a nudist beach and sees a guyz lyin there naked she asks him "whats that?" the man sayz "thats my birdie" so shes say okay an the man goes to sleep...when he wakes up he is in a hospital and in excrutiating pain...he looks around and sees the little girl and asks her "what happened?" the little girl says "i was playing with your birdie when it spit on me so i snapped its neck cracked it eggs and lit it nest on fire"

... classic