mercuryserver progressive culture • est. 2002 TRY THE NEWHORIZON BETALIVE READ-ONLY PREVIEW ↗

All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • toasty
    Sir Toastiness
    • Jun 2004
    • 6588
    #1

    All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

    From The Onion

    Biden Campaign Gets Kamala Harris Quickly Up To Speed On Candidate’s Plans For Presidential Funeral Service
    http://www.theonion.com/nib/index.php?issue=4127&nib=5
    WASHINGTON—Filling in the new vice-presidential pick on all of the arrangements that will need to be made ahead of the ceremony, the Joe Biden presidential campaign reportedly got Kamala Harris quickly up to speed Wednesday on the candidate’s plans for his presidential funeral service. “So, I want to do a viewing in the Capitol building obviously, and then after that, I want to be taken to Delaware for my burial following a livestream service at St. Joseph’s,” said Biden to the California senator, explaining what type of casket exterior finish he wanted as one of his aides handed her a folder containing information about the catering and floral arrangements, as well as the eulogy bullet points. “Here are the Bible verses I want to have read, along with a seating chart. We’re still hashing out the list of speakers, but we’ll definitely have you, Barack, and Jill offer remarks, and then we’ll end the ceremony with the orchestra playing ‘Danny Boy.’” At press time, Harris was accompanying Biden as he scoped out potential burial sites in Wilmington.


    All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

    DETROIT?In a strongly worded pronouncement to all y'all motherfuckers, Detroit resident Dwayne Combs urged all y'all to go fuck yo' selves Monday. "Y'all be bullshit," said Combs in a 3:17 a.m. address from the corner of Woodward Avenue and Grand Boulevard. "And yo' mama, too." Monday's statement marked the normally reclusive Combs' first since an October 1998 appeal to Detroit's city council to kiss his big, black ass. Representatives for all y'all have not yet responded to Combs' themselves-fucking offer.
    :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
    Tags: None
    • Jenks
      I'm kind of a big deal.
      • Jun 2004
      • 10255
      #2
      Re: All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves



      gotta love the onion.


      Did you catch the opinion piece? "Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?"


      I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures?like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.
      Opinion Archives
      http://www.theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4127


      :ROFLMAO:

        Comment

        • MJDub
          Are you Kidding me??
          • Jun 2004
          • 2767
          #3
          http://www.myspace.com/mjdubmusic

          You can't have manslaughter without laughter.

          "Son," he said without preamble, "never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl."

            Comment

            • influx
              Gold Gabber
              • Jun 2004
              • 544
              #4
              if it was true.. it wouldn't surprise me. detroit is the worst city ever.. except for techno. we own ya'll. so BACK OFF BITCHES! (you know that i'm packin' steel in the muthfucka)
              Last edited by influx; September 22, 2005, 07:48:54 PM.
              i reject your reality, and substitute my own.
              www.flynoteproductions.com

                Comment

                • thesightless
                  Someone will marry me. Hell Yeah!
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 13586
                  #5
                  Re: All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

                  detroit techno. good stuff

                  \but none of us would be here if it werent for orlando. put quality on the US map
                  your life is an occasion, rise to it.

                  Join My Chant. new mix. april 09. dirty fuck house.
                  download that. deep shit listed there

                  my dick is its own superhero.

                    Comment

                    • Pataky P
                      asdf_imo
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 1966
                      #6
                      Re: All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

                      Yes,this is True!Thank you to the link brother!!

                        Comment

                        • rewing3
                          I really don't care
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 5511
                          #7
                          Common Sense is not Common at all.

                            Comment

                            • daveman
                              I love the colors!!!
                              • Jul 2005
                              • 1221
                              #8
                              Re: All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

                              - combs 3:17

                              once upon a time, machines were mice, and men were lions. now that its the opposite, it's twice upon a time

                                Comment

                                • peloquin
                                  Till I Come!
                                  • Jun 2004
                                  • 8644
                                  #9
                                  Re: All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

                                  haha thats awesome. the onion rules

                                    Comment

                                    • peloquin
                                      Till I Come!
                                      • Jun 2004
                                      • 8644
                                      #10
                                      Re: All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

                                      i love how the first "similar topic" is the one about laurent garnier cancelling his US tour. lol.

                                        Comment

                                        • bart_smastard
                                          Gold Gabber
                                          • May 2005
                                          • 980
                                          #11
                                          Re: All Y'All Urged To Go Fuck Yo' Selves

                                          the edm scene started in detriot (and chicago) don't know if they are simmilar or anything i am a limey .so we do have something to thank them for . but from what i seen on t.v. they are both shitholes with ruffass neighbourhoods . if i am wrong correct me

                                            Comment

                                            Previous template Next

                                            Today's Birthdays

                                            Collapse

                                            [ms] Statistics

                                            Collapse
                                            Topics: 192,204   Posts: 1,238,503   Members: 53,135   Active Members: 35
                                            Welcome to our newest member, jackfroster.
                                            Working...
                                              WHAT RUNS UNDERNEATH

                                              The Substrate

                                              Delivery, page technologies and the current forum runtime.

                                              CaddyWeb & TLS edge
                                              HTML5Page structure
                                              CSS3Responsive styling
                                              JavaScriptBrowser interactions
                                              PHPApplication runtime
                                              MariaDBLegacy forum data

                                              POWERED BY TITAN

                                              Proprietary technologies across the TITAN family.

                                              OllieAI relationship and assistance layer.
                                              OCTAGoverned verification and authority layer.
                                              TitanBeamMigration and integration technology.
                                              REBORN · IN · THE · U.S.A.BUILT IN FREEDOM. BUILT ORIGINAL.BUILT BY TITANS.
                                              THE DOOROCTA PLAYER
                                              Enter the full venue ↗

                                              We process personal data about users of our site, through the use of cookies and other technologies, to deliver our services, personalize advertising, and to analyze site activity. We may share certain information about our users with our advertising and analytics partners. For additional details, refer to our Privacy Policy.

                                              By clicking "I AGREE" below, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our personal data processing and cookie practices as described therein. You also acknowledge that this forum may be hosted outside your country and you consent to the collection, storage, and processing of your data in the country where this forum is hosted.

                                              I Agree