Workplace Horseshit

[nietzsche]

You know those dumbass emails you get from some co-worker or outside client that have a bunch of words in 'em, but don't mean a damn thing? Well, I get 'em a lot and I think thy're hilarious. I mean, who comes up with this shit? I wanna see what you guys get at work too. I know a lot of you are tech guys so you know you get some good ones. post em!

Here's the most recent one I got:

"One answer is text mining, a revolutionary hybrid model combining the precision of search with the serendipity of discovery to detect the complex signals of emerging trends over billions of pieces of information. Together with visualization tools, this new form of analysis provides a unique window for public relations professionals to view the world."

uh. ok.

[asdf_admin]

got any more French jokes? :wink:

[Garrick]

how about fucking morons that don't do spell check and have absolutely no grammar in the first place.

"...in the the there for you don't not need do in the presentation with Q messages..."


how do people like this get a job in the first place.

[hypoluxxa]

Re:: Workplace Horseshit

I don?t know, but I remember battling the "comma" for a long time.
I guess I was a "moron" too.

[xeb]

nothing like a good old bit of serendipitous discovery

[picklemonkey]

Re:: Workplace Horseshit

Here's one I got from a coworker (who's known to make sense in his emails 50% of the time):

"Laser printer is jamming and making noise. She said it started with feeding an envelope. Not makes noise on all paper. Could be a paper jam or may have damaged. She gave asset tag as 3739 but on follow up that is not"

or another:

"Since the problem manifest itself in Outlook I asked him to remove Outlook from his startup group. The problem could be related to a timing issue and giving the machine a little longer to initialize before starting Outlook might help."

Not a lot of technicality to it, it's mainly just bad english for a "manager"

[tiddles]

Re:: Workplace Horseshit

From: Doroty <dorotyntxfdjvhzywm@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: sullenly trick refer brief involved medically

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 52   74  31      2128       81          63     20       87       7 99  3  2828  
 624602   35864    67519     66          29     26147    26817    3 547 1   86417
 12   47  08          723    48          29     46       43       8  79 1      701
 98   21  84    4 0    58    02          55     99    2  97    2  0   384  2    49
 52   20  46    4 96   81    74          62     77    2  81    1  7    27  53   50
6452761  11430947 166400    3235        5104   39447236 28461885 327   54  860707

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    70    38     576     19   10   59   42   08   40  10   29   38   37   14   6  
    80    46     053     02   02   20    34 57     3 91     48  10   01   34      
    35    66    5  32    17   55   93    56 20       91     10  81   32   52      
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   3696  4848 690  8201 3621   8965156657     0398     97249   5145   40834509817

[nietzsche]

I dunno why i think this shit is funny. I guess I just think of "Office Space" when I see it.

My favorite one is the "Thanks" for no apparent reason. Like:

"The email database will be down until noon. Thanks."

Thanks? wtf did I do?

[Garrick]

i use thanks very liberally... it makes me feel like i've done something...... or something.

[Kamal]

thanks....

I dunno why i think this shit is funny. I guess I just think of "Office Space" when I see it.

My favorite one is the "Thanks" for no apparent reason. Like:

"The email database will be down until noon. Thanks."

Thanks? wtf did I do?

that's some funny shit. made me laugh and everyone in the room was wondering what the heck happened

-e-

[Jibgolly]

thanks for this????
yes!
no!
could have been!

[FM]

http://www.internalmemos.com/memos/

read the free ones...some of them are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too long...