What's the dumbest????

[Jibgolly]

when i was 17 i drank a big glass of mushroom goodness and went to work.
i worked at a grocery store in the produce section.
i remember an old lady asking me what aisle the salad dressing was on, and i had no way of telling her.

[mixu]

Re: What's the dumbest????

I tried to break a CD in half...

[skahound]

I just got a new cell phone and the guy at the store transferred all of the numbers from my old phone. Well during a drunken time a few weeks ago I was messing around with the speech program in Windows and making it say dirty things. Well my very mature girlfriend decided that I should call my buddy Jamie and play it to him over the phone. So I scrolled down to his named and hit 'Talk' and when the phone was answered I hit play on the computer:

In a computerized voice, "You dumb ass cock sucker mother fucker. Eat my ass."

Me: "Did you hear that? Huh, did you hear that?"
Phone: silence (could hear background noise though)
Me: "Hey asshole, did you hear that?"
Phone: "Yeah, I heard it"
Me: "Jamie?"
Phone: "No. He's not here"
Me: "Oh shit!"
<hangup>
Then I realized that I called his parents' house and it was his dad that picked up the phone. When the numbers were transferred it set his parents' number as the default number. Boy did I feel like a dumbass for that one.

[jdat]

Re: What's the dumbest????

not long ago we had an open bar night at the great underground club here and ...

I was a tad wasted forgot half of the night anyhow ..

I got covered with stickers " No More Drug War " and didn't notice it till hours later when suddenly I sobered up

I also used a girls lighter ( why'd I even have it? I don't smoke ) and then broke it ... she got mad at me ... I borrowed another girls lighter and tried to switch them around now both girls were chasing me around the club ... drunken silliness
I ended up in the boys bathroom and they were laughing at the door trying to get in and I somehow grabbed the top of the bathroom stalls and cut both of my hands pretty badly.

Note to self :
You act like a retard when you're drunk!

[Steve Graham]

Skahound...that's the best one I have read yet!
nice one!

[skahound]

Re: What's the dumbest????

I ended up in the boys bathroom and they were laughing at the door trying to get in and I somehow grabbed the top of the bathroom stalls and cut both of my hands pretty badly

Wow, thought I was gonna have to stop reading there for a second. Scary stuff being laughed at and intruded on in the boys room!

[LV-8]

i poured hot tea on my body and pretended it was someone peeing on me

[peloquin]

Re: What's the dumbest????

I tried to break a CD in half...

Good Story

[yelena]

Re: What's the dumbest????

well actually if you knew her you would understand that she does everything backwards. Also i already said we were at a club. She wasnt herself if you know what i mean

my girlfriends and i were at a club one late morning and someone asked my best friend if they can use her cell phone. well she did not have hers but had our friends purse on her lap. She reached in and got out her house phone. This big old thing. We went up to our friend with her house phone while she was on the dance floor and told her that she has a phone call and handed her the big old phone.
She answered it. That was the funniest thing i have ever experienced.

I smell BullShit... why did your friend have her house phone in her purse? why, when someone else asked for a phone, did you take said house phone to your friend? and if it eas HER house phone, wouldnt she have recognised it as such, and not tried to answer it in the club?

[skahound]

Re: What's the dumbest????

She wasnt herself if you know what i mean

A-ha, she was dressed in a chicken costume. That explains everything.