Falling Apart :(

[Steve Graham]

Re: Falling Apart

^^^ thats good advice mate... even though I was the one that left, it was one of the hardest decisions..
but living near the water, and just being out there at night with the waves and all the other sounds just seemed to help put my mind at ease.. very grounding indeed

[Shiva]

Re: Falling Apart

Look after yourself , do things that make you feel better , even just a little bit. You're on this site so we know music is important to you. Listen to music you love even if it makes you sad sometimes. But most of all it's your life. Live it!! Others can only share it.

DIDI is totally RIGHT......M U S I C...!!!
Music is therapy.....healing....spirituality...!
Music is EVERYTHING and ANYTHING you want it to be at any given time...It is WITH YOU at good and bad moments in life....It helps when you're happy and when you're sad...
IT HEALS YOU.....Try it....
Just like DIDI said....even if it makes you sad...IT IS part of the healing!
Remember EVERYTHING happens for a REASON....you will SEE that later...
Anyway, we are here for you honey...you are NOT alone
Kisses

[BureOne]

Re: Falling Apart

yeah, just throw on your ipod and run, just run! and cry while you run, it will relieve some frustration and it'll feel good letting it out that way rather than soaking in some corner doing nothing.

[thesightless]

Re: Falling Apart

im still recovering from a situation simliar to this one. it sucks. but yeah, try and stay busy, get out and socialize when you are ready, but dont let getting ready take too long. sitting home for the next month wont be helpful, but i can see giving yourself a few weeks.

just have fun when you feel its right. push forward. keep your life going.

[miketpoto]

Re: Falling Apart

Sorry to hear hon.

[chanty]

Re: Falling Apart

Aww...I'm so sorry Karen! I don't even know what to say. Maybe he does just need a little time to sort himself out. I know that I don't like to drag people down with me when I'm at a really low point. There are just some things you need to do on your own. Hopefully he'll figure it out and coming running back fulltiltboogie. Hugs for you sweetie!

[feather]

Re: Falling Apart

If I may throw in my 2c ...

I think your bf is in a bad place right now 'cos he obviously feels shit about himself, the lack of results, and on top of that, he feels guilty that you have to go through it with him.

Maybe it's because he loves you too much that he feels you shouldn't have to do this. And a lot of it also has to do with his own insecurity. Sometimes, when you're in a hole like this, you lose sight of your priorities, you project your own insecurity or issues, onto your relationship and the people closest to you.

It's easy to lump everyting together when nothing is working out, and he thinks he's doing the right thing by not dragging you through it, but what he doesn't realise yet is that love is unconditional and you chose to be with him though everything. So I'd say he's not leaving you because he doesn't love you, he's leaving you because he can't see that you're strong enough to stand by him, he's overcome by the dark place and the guilt.

And sad to say, you can't do anything for someone like that. Gotta give him the space, let him work it out, let him get back his self-confidence and dignity, then he'll feel like he's ready to see you again.

The scary thing is you not knowing what's going on, whether to hold on or to move on.

But it won't do you good if he hung around in the state he is in, so in a way, he's trying to do the best thing.

It's not so much about you moving on in a hurry or holding on desperately. It sucks, it hurts, but you still have your work, your life, and routine you do. Keep doing it, live your life, and hope he is doing good somewhere.

At some point, you'll find the pain lessening or you will just move on with time without even realising it, just don't consciously try to. And in time, you either move on on your own accord, or he comes back. Who knows? Maybe when he returns, you'll also realise you've grown into a different person, and is at a place in life different from wher he is, and you might find yourself happy witht that.

So chin up, it's fucked up, hell I've been in a relationship limbo for the past 7 years

[feather]

Re: Falling Apart

Man that was tough in my inebriated state, hehce the typo.

[DancingQueen]

Re: Falling Apart

Thank you everyone for your kind words, they all really mean a lot.

I just don't know what to do with myself at this point. I moved here to be with him and now he's leaving...I don't know if I should stay or go? I am just so confused right now....I hate this

[Dhar_2]

Re: Falling Apart

just sit tight.

dont do anything rash

just worry about yourself for now, the rest will follow!

[feather]

Re: Falling Apart

Why should you go anywhere? Start building up your own life. It's probably too early for you to pack up and leave for a trip around the world :P

[art71]

Re: Falling Apart

Hang tough Karen! And don't do anything rash so soon. I recently found myself single again, my girlfriend of 12 years decided it was time for a change. So here I am. It will get better .

[unkownartist]

Re: Falling Apart

tbh i,m no expert on this but i did know just by talking to you on msn just how close u were to chris...tbh i dont know what to say coz i,m hopeless @ this.....just gotta keep ur head up and think that things will get better, they say times a great healer

[Kat]

Re: Falling Apart

aww dear karen i'm so sorry you are in this situation
i have no magic advice tho, i agree with everything posted so far
i do believe its a start of a new life for you even tho it may not seem so right now
talking about it does help also and i am glad to see this comunity responding and being here for you
big hug my dear

[DIDI]

Re: Falling Apart

Everyone is right, don't do anything rash yet. Whether you move or not will depend on which place is best for you. You are going to have to learn to be selfish When you do something now, the only one you have to consider is yourself!! Spoil yourself.!!

Btw where are you now, which country??

Shiva, that's pretty well the way I feel about music.