My life is fucking over

[Dhar_2]

Re: My life is fucking over

let it go for now!

if she's out to hurt you its best to distance yourself.

no point ruining your interviews. these are oppourtunities for your future! take a break distance yourself from things and prepare for the interviews.

remember your are strong and you have something to offer them. your strenght in this situation shows your worth!

keep your chin up! if u need to talk you know where we are!

[Life on Other Planets AKA Johns]

Re: My life is fucking over

Dont worry yourself Feather. take care of number 1 and that is u

[floridaorange]

Re: My life is fucking over

Feather it's your responsibility to take control of this, not hers. Do what you have to do.

[simonr]

Re: My life is fucking over

Hey Feather .... pics or STFU !

But in all seriousness, hope some sort of resolution can be reached. Keep your chin up mate.

[DancingQueen]

Re: My life is fucking over

On MSN with her now and I really don't know what to do. She wants to hurt me and feel everything like she is now, and wants us to be 'equal'.

She seriously said this?! Hun you do not need to be with someone who wants to hurt you. That is the last type of relationship anyone needs....believe me I know....I've been there. You get stuck thinking you don't deserve any better and this is what love is, but believe me its not....it is definitely a very toxic, unhealthy situation you are in or heading into if you chose to be with her.

I agree with Dhar_2 you need to seriously distance yourself from her and focus on you and your career. Please take a step back from this situation and take the time to regroup *hug*

[runningman]

Re: My life is fucking over

^^ nice one dancing.. that is some good advice right there.

[Johnnyboy]

Re: My life is fucking over

... to give me a chance to fix things. I have even offered to quit my job today if she wanted a commitment from me to fix things, I would quit my job and plan to move back to where she is or wherever she wants to go....

Don't know you Feather, therefore I will not give advice. All I will do is share with you what I went through… A situation where my ex asked me to stop my work and fix our relationship. It was 6+ years ago. I was working 70 hrs per week and she felt it was hurting us while she had no job, and couldn’t find one that would make her the money she needed or better yet the money I was giving her. Looking at the situation, it took my friends to show me that it was her that was hurting our relationship. She would try and crush everything that I did because she was selfish... I couldn't see it. I was in “love” My friends (I ask you to trust your friends) forced me to see the "light". I finally trusted them enough to look within and see for myself how bad it (SHE) was… Now years later, my life, my career and my new love (5 yrs together) could not be any better. It takes a lot of inward focus and attention, more importantly it takes good people around you (family, friends, co-workers, [MS] ) to trust and be there for you for support. Listen to the good people and trust what they see, not just what you feel… Good luck my man and stay strong!

[floridaorange]

Re: My life is fucking over

^good anecdotal there

[DIDI]

Re: My life is fucking over

^^^ That's probably a mental thing. Every time you get enthusiastic they find something wrong. Incredibly destuctive.

[simonr]

Re: My life is fucking over

^^ lots of great advice and contrasting views

... sometimes you simply can't control who you love (or who loves you) - that's the conundrum and I'm sure there's more highs/lows than you could ever think possible.

It may be that the girl that is best for you can also be the worst for you.

If it ends badly, at least cherish the good times and memories. It's all to easily too think of the end-game because that's the most recent thing, rather than the magical chemisty and love you enjoyed in the 1st place.

So in relationship terms, it it was Oakey, think 1999 not 2009 !!

If it ends (and it looks like it has) .. it ends - hopefully, in time, the lines of communication and genuine best wishes stay there.

At least we're all rooting for you here on [ms].

[floridaorange]

Re: My life is fucking over

^^^ That's probably a mental thing. Every time you get enthusiastic they find something wrong. Incredibly destuctive.

Just seemed like every time I did really well at work, my gf would complain how terrible her work was. But if work for me is not going well, she's perfectly fine. Insights welcome.



Don't mean to highjack, but I'm sure this is relevant...

[pipey]

Re: My life is fucking over

feather, i have been here before mate, and honestly, even tho its not what you want to hear, it sounds like a destructive relationship...

I know that love is blind tho mate, and its so hard to make any kinda decision with a clear head when you are in this situation...

just make sure that you are getting what you want too mate - at the end of the day, you sound like you would make someone who deserves you very happy... just make sure that it IS someone who deserves you...

[AntonyM]

Re: My life is fucking over

I would defo focus on some new work opportunities, those first days of a split are gut wrenching handling it straight on takes a lot of toughness and spirit just think of that as the days pass or do what I did and just toss all her stuff in a dumpster, then have the locks changed.

[Yao]

Re: My life is fucking over

On MSN with her now and I really don't know what to do. She wants to hurt me and feel everything like she is now, and wants us to be 'equal'.

It's 12:20am I have an interview in 7 hours and another interview at 6pm.

All I have been doing is begging her for a chance, not tonight or tomorrow or this week but at some point in the future with some time behind us, to give me a chance to fix things. I have even offered to quit my job today if she wanted a commitment from me to fix things, I would quit my job and plan to move back to where she is or wherever she wants to go.

Fuck man. It has come to a point where, I just don't know, I mean, fuck, I don't know. Argh.

Feather. I've followed a girl like a puppy in the last 4 years to no avail after a short romance we had, telling myself she was everything I needed etc. After not seeing her for 6+ months I realized I finally started looking around and whaddayaknow, more than 8 months later I'm in the beginning of a possible relationship and it is sooo different. Wanna know the difference? She's not sucking me dry mentally. She's not a taker. She won't have me beg, plead or anything like that. She gives back.

Dude, I have little insight into your relationship with her, but any woman making you beg and crawl if you haven't cheated on her should not be worth the trouble, and even then there are limits. Look in the mirror and ask yourself what you want to do with your life. If you want to hand over control to someone like her and behave like a lapdog, that is your god-given right. If not, man up and take control over your own life and live it. I must say that if you're able to genuinely do and feel this, and then meet someone, your future relationships will be much more relaxed. With this girl that I'm seeing I'm still doing whatever I want, and we're both taking small steps at a time towards the middle where we may in the end finally meet -a true relationship. I'm not following, I'm not leading, and neither is she.

Detach, accept and proceed. Life doesn't end here mate.It's been a rant, but i'm kinda drunk and have barely begun to overcome a fucked up love myself, thanks to this incredible girl I've met. She made me realize a lot, but the most important thing is that I've chosen myself. And ever since I've been happier than ever, because I've taken back control over my life . Maybe there's something in here that will help you make the 'click' in your head, I hope so, even though I may regret this post next morning .

[DIDI]

Re: My life is fucking over

^ what kinda of bird are you???

you should always have something to say

are you sure your not a bloke?????

I'm just projecting myself into the situation. Usually if I am venting it is for two reasons , no 1, it really helps me to focus my mind and work things out myself. Btw feather has helped me to do that on another issue. No 2, I just want someone to say, there, there Di , of course you are totally right about absolutely everything!! Strangly enough no 2 never happens